Couples therapy & relationship counselling
When the same arguments keep happening, when one of you is checked out, when something has happened you're not sure how to recover from — talking to someone trained for this matters. UK therapists, EFT and Gottman-trained, online or in-person. Free 15-minute discovery call.
What's couples therapy actually for?
Couples therapy isn't only for couples on the brink. Most of the people who arrive at therapy are not in crisis — they're stuck. The same disagreement plays out the same way every time. One partner withdraws, the other escalates, and neither of you can quite remember why anymore. The point of therapy isn't to assign blame; it's to step out of the pattern long enough to see it.
It works for long-married couples and brand new ones. For couples in the middle of an affair fallout, and for couples who've never had an affair but feel like they're sharing a flat with a flatmate. For pre-marital couples who want to make decisions deliberately. For couples navigating fertility, parenthood, illness, redundancy, retirement. For couples in any configuration — straight, gay, queer, polyamorous, monogamous.
The NHS does not generally fund couples therapy. Relate, the long-standing UK relationship counselling charity, runs sliding-scale fees and is genuinely useful. Beyond Relate, this is mostly a private-sector space. We help you match to a therapist trained in evidence-based couples work — not a generalist who'll figure it out as they go.
Common signs and symptoms:
- Arguments that follow the same script every time
- One partner withdrawing emotionally, the other pursuing harder
- Loss of sexual intimacy, or feeling like roommates
- Drifting apart after children, redundancy, or retirement
- An affair, breach of trust, or honesty crisis
- Considering separation but not sure if you should
- Disagreement about something fundamental: kids, money, family, faith
- Wanting to do the work before getting married
Evidence-based approaches to couples therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Developed by Sue Johnson, EFT works with attachment — the underlying emotional cycles that drive the surface arguments. One of the most rigorously evidenced approaches to couples therapy in the world; meta-analyses consistently show 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and effects hold up over time.
The Gottman Method
Built on John & Julie Gottman's 40+ years of research at the Gottman Institute. Highly structured: assessment, mapping the friendship and conflict patterns, building shared meaning. Strong evidence base, particularly for couples whose problem is communication and conflict regulation.
Systemic / family therapy
Looks at the relationship as a system — including the wider family, cultural context, life stage. Particularly useful when the couple's difficulty is bound up with extended-family dynamics, blended families, or major life transitions.
Integrative couples therapy
Therapists trained across multiple approaches who tailor what they use to what your relationship needs. Useful when one model alone hasn’t given enough.
CBT for couples
Focused on the thoughts and behaviours that drive conflict — useful when the issue is concrete and contained (e.g. one specific recurring fight) rather than systemic.
Discernment counselling
When one of you wants to work on the relationship and the other isn't sure, discernment counselling is a short-term (1-5 sessions) protocol that helps you decide whether to commit to couples therapy, separate, or stay where you are.
Why work with a MatchyMatch couples therapist?
Verified credentials
Couples work needs specific training; not every BACP-registered counsellor is a couples therapist. We check before they appear in your matches — UK accreditation (BACP, UKCP, HCPC, BPS) or recognised international body, with couples-specific training.
Free discovery call
Couples therapy works best when you trust the therapist. Both of you. Your first 15-minute call is free — meet them, decide together, then book.
Honest about Relate
Relate (relate.org.uk) is the long-standing UK couples-counselling charity and runs sliding-scale fees. They're a fair first call if cost is the deciding factor. Our therapists offer something different: choice of approach, choice of therapist, no waitlist, longer-term work if you need it.
Therapy in your language
When you're working through difficult conversations, doing it in your first language matters. We have couples therapists working in English and several other languages.
Online or in-person
Most couples sessions on the platform are online — easier to schedule for two busy adults. Some therapists offer in-person where they're local.
Inclusive — every relationship configuration
Straight, gay, queer, polyamorous, monogamous, blended families, step-parent dynamics. We make sure you match to a therapist who works with the kind of relationship you have, not despite it.
Why choose MatchyMatch for relationship issues therapy?
MatchyMatch is a UK platform for relationship issues therapy. Every therapist holds professional registration — with a UK body (BACP, UKCP, HCPC, BPS) or a recognised international body — so you have verified credentials before you ever pick up the phone. Your first 15-minute discovery call with any therapist is free.
- Free 15-minute discovery call before you commit to relationship issues therapy
- Verified UK & international credentials (BACP, UKCP, HCPC, BPS, COPSI and others)
- Online or in-person sessions, whichever suits you
- Therapy in English and other languages — including ones the NHS rarely offers
Frequently asked questions
Should we try Relate first?
Relate is the UK's largest relationship-counselling charity and has been working with couples since 1938. Their fees are sliding-scale, which makes them more accessible than most private therapy. They're a fair first call. The MatchyMatch difference: choice of therapist (Relate often allocates), choice of approach (EFT vs Gottman vs systemic), shorter waits, longer-term work if you need it, and access to therapists trained specifically in things like affair recovery or psychosexual work.
Does the NHS offer couples therapy?
Not really. NHS Talking Therapies treats individuals; the NHS does not generally fund couples or relationship therapy. There are some specialist exceptions — couples therapy where one partner is being treated for depression, for example — but for most relationship issues, this is a private-sector space.
My partner won’t come. Can I do couples therapy on my own?
Sort of. There's a specific approach called 'one-sided couples therapy' — sometimes called Brent Atkinson's work or 'individual relationship therapy' — that works on the patterns from your side. It's not as effective as both of you in the room, but it's not nothing. Discernment counselling is also worth considering if your partner is unsure rather than refusing.
How long does couples therapy take?
EFT and Gottman protocols are typically 12-25 sessions. Discernment counselling is shorter — 1-5 sessions specifically to decide whether to commit to therapy. Affair recovery work tends to run 6-18 months. Pre-marital work is usually 6-12 sessions. Your therapist will tell you what they expect at the start.
What does couples therapy cost in the UK?
Most UK private couples therapy is £80-£150 per session (most are 60-90 minutes, longer than individual sessions). Relate's sliding scale is more affordable. Discovery calls on MatchyMatch are always free.
We had an affair. Can therapy help?
Yes — affair recovery is a defined area of couples-therapy practice with its own protocols. EFT-trained therapists and Gottman-trained therapists both have specific frameworks for the work. It's hard, slow, and often goes through phases (atonement, attunement, attachment) — but most couples who fully commit to the process come out of it with a stronger relationship than before.
We’re in a same-sex / queer / poly relationship. Will the therapist be okay with that?
On MatchyMatch, yes. We don't list therapists who only work with one relationship configuration as the 'norm'. We can match you specifically to a queer-affirmative or GSRD-experienced therapist (Pink Therapy is a useful UK directory for that more broadly).
What if we're considering separation?
Discernment counselling is the protocol designed for exactly this. Short (1-5 sessions), structured, and not about persuading you to stay together — it's about helping you make a clear decision rather than drift into a default. Many therapists who offer EFT or Gottman also offer discernment work.